Chimurenga session

Start Time: Friday, 02 April 2010 at 20:00
End Time: Saturday, 03 April 2010 at 03:00
Location: City Hall, Darling Street, Cape Town
Cost: R50 (R20 before 10pm) at the door

A performance curated and produced by Chimurenga, to launch the “African Cities Reader”, a compendium of cutting edge writing and art on, about and through African cities.

The session will feature a special screening of Phybia Dlamini’s new film, Kind Of Language, which is inspired by Sello K Duiker’s award winning novel Thirteen Cents. This will be followed by uMthwakazi, a big band project that fuses Afrobeat, jazz, Xhosa choral music and opera singing. The session will also feature a live DJ mix by Papa Dee and Lati Kronlund (of New York based Brooklyn Funk Essentials) and Kaapstad’s own Fong Kong Bantu Soundsystem.

Screening starts at 8pm. Cash bar available

uMthwakazi Band:
uMthwakazi is a Miles’ Bitches Brew-styled band fronted by acclaimed opera singer Bongiwe Lusizi. Other players include uDaba graduates Luyolo Lenga (guitar, umqangi bow, vocals) and Pumelele “Pura” Lavisa (uhadi and umrhubhe bows, poetry), nyabinghi drummer Ras Juda, jazz pianist Thandi Nthuli and a horn section led by trumpeter Lwanda Gogwana. Together they produce an addictive and free (as in Arkestra free) mash-up of any and all forms of vocal and instrumental music – but with dancing feet always landing on classical opera, choral music and the thing we call jazz.

Lati Kronlund and Papa Dee (of Brooklyn Funk Essentials):
As members of the New York music collective Brooklyn Funk Essentials, Lati Kronlund and Papa Dee have been playing funk-drenched boogaloo-jazz-hip hop-dub to dancing audiences around the world since the mid-nineties.

Going back in time to the sounds of early Jamaican ska and rock steady, dipping into jungle and drum and bass from the nineties, back to the roots of funk, r&b and hip-hop. Then sliding into early electro and house or dropping some new British wonky over an Afro beat loop. Sudden leaps into funky punk rock or long downhill stretches of deep serious techno dub – a typical set from these guys will include Fela Kuti, Kraftwerk, The Abbyssinians, Henrik Schwarz, James Brown, Derrick May, Sister Nancy, Blaze, Cymande, King Tubby, Joe Bataan, Funkadelic, Cooly G and of course some Brooklyn Funk Essentials remixes. Papa Dee will also be sure to sprinkle his dancehall toasting over the bleeps and bumps for an all together original pledge of allegiance to the funk.

Fong Kong Bantu Soundsystem:
The Fong Kong Bantu Soundsystem sell black market identities, the kind of consciousness you can’t get on hi-rotation music TV.

Girls Night Out

Start Time: Saturday, 03 April 2010 at 20:00
End Time: Sunday, 04 April 2010 at 04:00
Location: Zula Bar 194 Long Street, Cape Town
Cost: R40 (ladies free before 10pm) at the door

EJ Von Lyrik headlines this night of female performers and deejays.

Live support act is Katherine Traut who is slowly making a name for herself on the scene.

This will be Kathy’s first performance at Zula Bar and also the first time she shares a stage with EJ.

Also on the bill is DJ Honey B, who has steadily crafted a name for herself and has played many clubs in and outside of cape town, as well as festivals such as Rocking the Daisies, Flamjangled Tea Party, etc.

DJ Funafuji is well-known for her “step up” sessions at fiction and has also represented the dubstep massive at cape town clubs and various festivals.

You can also catch her at the Sowing the Seeds gig at the Cape Farmhouse on April 10.

Last, but not the least, is DJ Que. She is one of the youngest DJs but she has got mad scratching skills and has played several gigs under the watchful eye of DJ Azuhl, who needs no introduction.

Together these artists are gonna take you on a journey of sound and also represent the female energy in all aspect. Dubmasta China will close off the night but in all respects it all belongs to the girls!

Ladies free before 10pm on Saturday April 3.

Cover is R40.

This morning on my way to work I spotted a bra pushing his trolley, together with his life belongings, and then using his cellphone.

So I wondered to myself… “met wie praat die bra?!”

And what will be the topic of discussion op sy phone?

Which obviously made me think of the things I would talk about if I was a bergie!

• This corner has been pissed on too much, need to move to the next spot.
• Waasilah wysed she has some lekker kraantjie and I must stiek uit.
• Waasilah wysed she smaak a pomp and she’s not too vuil today – although I like it when she’s vuil.
• My phone’s battery is going ’sut’, where can I charge it.
• And ofcourse, my fokken airtime is about to run-out, I need to ‘loaf’ at the robot again.

LOKL! Wat sal julle oor praat?

Ferril

‘Sweet’ (’sweat’ in Afrikaans) is the first single from Jaak’s debut solo album, Flêtse Maniere.

Sweet is a track about the everyday struggles of the people of the Flêtse (the ghetto housing projects of the Cape Flats) – from the mundane, like remembering to buy safety pins for the baby’s nappy, to the the more substantial, like poor service delivery and crime. All these struggles make the people sweat to make ends meet whilst striving to make their dreams come true.

• Directed, shot and edited by Christian Denslow & Garth von Glehn for Greenhaus Productions.
• Track produced by Hipe.
• Shot entirely on location in Paarl, South Africa.

Listen to, and download, Flêtse Maniere for FREE at Bandcamp: http://jaak.bandcamp.com/

©2010 Pioneer Unit Records http://www.pioneerunit.com

Coloured girl is giving directions to her new boyfriend to get to her flat.

She says: ”You come to the front door of the complex where I live ne, and look for unit 14A. With your elbow push button 14A. Come inside and you’ll find a lift on the right. With your elbow hit 14. When you get out of the lift you’ll find my flat on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell and I’ll open the door for you.”

The boy says: ” Ok duidelik Baby that sounds mos blaaind easy to find. But why must I do everything with my elbow huh???”

Girl says “Hellooo!! Excuuuuse me, you’re not coming empty-handed mos?  Jislaaiiikkkk!!!

Ferril

Kullid.co.za presents Kullid in Technicolor, a event om onse heritage te celebrate.

Die ding sal innie Eldorado Park mal ruk oppie 24 September 2009 byrie Don Mateman Hall rondom 10 o’clock innie oggend.

Mrs. Jesse Duarte sal daar wies as ‘n speaker en die event is a definitive ding om uit te check.

Stiek uit ouense en support die soort van ding in onse communities.

Safe!

Mulla

Today is Sunday, and it’s almost lunch time

Yunna… the best part of the day mos! LOL!

So I was chatting to some mense the other day, about what we eat. The motchie and I had a friend over, a white lady that works with the motchie, and we were talking about our food. She says that she obviously grew up with food that didn’t really have salt n pepper in it. Flavorless mos. And we, being coloured / bruin mense, luuuuuv adding salt n pepper n all kinds of lekker spices into our kos.

So the discussion moved on and we discovered that we also ate more food than the white lady’s family too.

So that brought me to a question… “Do certain types or race of people eat more than others?”

I think so. Yurra, I remember my torpie making Sunday lunch for 4 mense where there’s 2 chickens roasting, a leg of lamb oek innie oond, roast potatoes, sweet potatoes, yellow rice (with the raisins) and squash n what what.

And we managed to eat all of that. And one thing I remember is that my torpie always wysed me, HIS taanie also used to make so much kos! Ok never mind that fact that they were something like 9 laaities! LOL!

Something the motchie wysed as well was that her taanie says we should always make more food, in case of there being the ‘lunch-time’ visitors. Mense wat sukkel mos vir lunch daait, dan ko holang hulle by ons vir vriete!! But is oraait, we don’t complain

Anyways, wat se die mense? Do you also eat more than you should?

Ferril

I dunno if you guys have been following this SA goos in the IAAF! Caster Semenye has been the talk of the town mense, but not cos she is kak good… naai, the media wants this goos’ move to be checked to see if she is perhaps a manvrou!!

Yunna, how many times have we seen kinnes from the Ukraine, Russia, States, etc look like brasse when they take part in ANY sport!?!

I mean, that 2 sisters that druk in the tennis… the Williams sisters… don’t they look like brasse?!

So what Caster is 18 years old! The kin MUST be good if she’s breaking records! And to the media that says that South Africans are oraait ugly… I say jou ma is lelik!

VAT SOE!

Like I said before… since the Confed Cup, I’m feeling kak proud to be a South African! I’m all behind this goos! And I hope the rest of SA supports her!

Ferril

The other day I was actually talking to one of my colleagues. I dunno how the topic came up – ek kan mos fokkol onthou nie (goldfish gedagtes). But anyways, we were discussing how too many kullid people, no matter if they’re from Cape Town or PE, have the idea that they don’t have to become anything.

They are content with lumming at home… waiting for someone to give them the helping hand they deserve.

Moenie ko met daai kak gedagtes ie!! Roer jou gat!!

The colleague that I was talking to is a 30 year old female who grew up in PE (soes ek bo gemention). Now she’s a developer and if yous know mense in IT, it’s dominated by men. Ek wiet ie hoeko daa mere kinnes issie.

Ma anyways, she says that she did NOT get it easy in her career, even today things aren’t easy. This motivated her to work harder, be more successfull!

What I’m saying is that even people who are well into their careers, have hurdles/opsticles that try to get you down! But it’s what you do that makes the difference! How you decide to deal with it – we all have choices!

All I’m saying is, moenie fokken lazy wies ie!

Djy wil daai golfie kry!
Djy wil a mooi huisie koep!
Djy wil a familie oek een dag het issit ie?!!!

Doen iets! Ek wiet is kla mooilik met die prys van brood wat op gat, en moenie eers praat van entjies ie! Ek kan julle hoor dink

The way I see it anyways, kullids got the best of both worlds – we are beautiful people, we are clever and intelligent and have grown through hard times! Lets use all of this to our advantage and work together! Even if it knocks you down sometimes, pick yourself back up! It’ll only make you stronger and a better person!

Dream big, become something big! It is possible!

Ferril

Note from The Kak Duidelik Crew

The following article is taken directly from the Beyond Identity website with full permission from Mr Ross Rayners.

Hope yous enjoy it. Feel free to comment about what you think.

Check out the Beyond Identity website for more interesting articles.

In general, the conception of a colored man is based on numerous and inadequate generalizations stemming from human hypocrisy and slave trade; and eventually institutionalized in 1948 with Apartheid, a National Party philosophy, in South Africa. The National Party’s brutality and immorality wrought immense human havoc to the non-European communities which was evident in their displacement and violation of political rights, their basic human rights. In no uncertain terms non-whites where reduced to no more than slaves in their country of birth.

So, what does it mean to live as a colored or if you like in South Africa? It meant to be subjected and cajoled to the bitter taste of Afrikaner racism. It meant to live in a society martyred by hypocrisy in a state of identity psychosis. It meant an exposure to a social bigotry, a social insecurity underpinned by ignorance, fear and vulnerability. Out of this, certain perceptions and stereotypes, called ‘Colored’ naissanced, still lived today. This nuisance evolved and over time became known as the Colored Commandments or Gam Gedagtes:

• I believe that I am the best in the street where I live. Anyone who lives in a bigger house, drives a better car or whose kids attends a more expensive school is liable to receive some unfair treatment, harassment or verbal slurs from me. I believe that I am better than anyone else, and the minute that I see another colored excel, I will suppress, oppress and undermine their achievements. Even my own children.
• I believe that when I am in need, then the neighbor is obliged to give me whatever I need (like sugar, rice or even a few rands), otherwise that neighbor is not fit to be regarded as a friend or acquaintance.
• I believe that I am compelled to obtain new possessions as determined by the rate at which my neighbors or work colleagues acquire new possessions. I am entitled to have the loudest musical system, the biggest satellite dish and the most expensive clothes on the market (all clothes should be designer-labeled). Should I not be able to afford this, I am entitled to sink my heavy ass into debts that I know I will not be able to pay.
• I believe that I have the right to afford my children education on the basis that I can boast about their achievements like it was my own. I retain the right to assess scholastic progress better than the drunken teacher. Education has not worked for me; so it will work for them as long their education do not surpass mine, as I made them. My children will work for me once they have completed their studies. My children are not to think for themselves.
• I believe that I may call black people ‘kaffirs’, white people ‘whities’; asians ‘coolies’ and other coloreds ‘hotnot’, ‘gam’ or if you like. In addition, I believe that I am better than anybody is and nobody may address me as any of the above because it is politically incorrect to label me as such. Such slander is a direct violation of my basic human rights but not yours.
• I believe that all white and black people are racist. I believe that I am racially tolerant by not allowing my children to play with black children because black people slaughter animals in their yards and believe in the tokolosh. I reserve the right to protect my children against the onslaughts of the white man’s way of living, allowing their offspring economic freedom. I believe, in addition, that my child should never be independent of me otherwise I have not been a good parent.
• I believe that I am not African. I am born on the South African continent. My narrow-mindedness is more than a vice and it does indeed surpass my intellect, don’t you forget that.
• I believe that my social constitution and laws are governed by what people think of me. The perception of what other people will say determines what I believe. A proud draadsitter.
• I believe that the government owes me a house and an education due to the inequities of the past. Why should I work for what I want, as my drinking time will be cut in half and besides, the government owes me.
• I believe that all other religions are an abomination of my religion and belief in God. May they have a happy journey to hell, God bless them. My authority should not be questioned because I have the Church by my side. At least I am saved.
• I believe that once I get elected to office or any committee, as it is due to me, I will turn my back on those idiots that elected me for that position. As long as I earn a good salary, I will not do anything to uplift my community, I don’t owe them anything.

Breaching any of the commandments will afford you extra-special names like ‘coconut’, ‘traitor’ or even ‘gatkruiper’. A first offence, in most cases, will be forgiven. After that, any act shall be scrutinized and deemed suspicious. You are warned. The truth or validity of the colored commandments depends on you.

Although there are plenty of talented people in colored communities, advancement are hampered by in-fighting, bigotry and blind recourse in the colored commandments. Frankly I do not belief or adhere to The Colored Commandments, as it is nothing but perceptions and stereotypes born out of a people that were not allowed to develop their own identity. It was stunted. Now is the time for change.

Let us change the way we look at life and ourselves. Let us have Colored Gedagtes.

- Ross Rayners

Yustaday… ek vra verskoning vir ienige ongerief!

Last season we had an excellent time on the league. We had some mense that were doing really well, and some that weren’t.

If you are interested in joining some of us again – testing our wits in the english game, please use this league code.

311716-172816

Come and join… its going to be kak lekker

Ferril