Bek-Rek! ‘n Nuwe vorm van Afrikaanse Komedie!!!

Die tyd het aan gebreek vir nuwe form van vermaak! Bek-Rek! is Suid-Afrika se eerste Komedie groep wat spesialiseer in die Afrikaanse form van Standup.

Bek-Rek! is ‘n ongeregistreerde organisasie sonder winsbejag wat beoog om Afrikaanse komediespel in Kaapstad te ontwikkel en bevorder. In 2008 het Brent Niemandt gesien dat daar ‘n behoete aan Afrikaanse Komedie is. Hy het weeklikse werkswinkels georganiseer om sodoende opkomende komediante ‘n kans te gee om hul material te ontwikkel!

Die groep praat met geesdrif oor die rol van komedie in die land:

“Die Afrikaanse musiekbedryf het die afgelope paar jaar baie groot geword. Dit het die deur vir ander vorme van vermaak oopgemaak, byvoorbeeld komedie.”

“Ons lewe in moelike tye, en ons land benodig iets om ons kwale te laat vergeet, en daar is niks lekkerder as om jou kwale weg te lag nie.”

“Met dit in gedagte, dink ons dat daar ‘n mark is vir ons Afrikaanssprekendes om so ‘n bietjie in ons eie taal te lag!”

Tans bestaan Bek-Rek! uit a groep van 4 Komediante, 1 Komediese Kulkunstenaar en 2 opkomende Komediante!

Brent Niemandt – Met sy onnutsige verbeelding, groot mond en “tipiese kerel” persoonlikheid, kry hy nuwe aanhangers by elke opvoering.

Piet Potgieter – Die Boer, wat as ‘n Dominee geswot het, as ‘n Barman gewerk het, sal jou laat skater van die lag!

Jaak Erasmus –  ‘n Prontuit Komediant, wat jou mening van sport en verhoudings heeltemal sal laat verander.

Dugald Pieterse – Wenner van die SBA/SON Kaapse Jokes Kompetisie. By Elke opvoering het sy stories van alledaagse lewe in Bredaarsdorp verseker dat hy ‘n gunstelling by die gehoor is.

Regardt Laubscher – ‘n Komiese Kulkunstenaar wat jou sal betower met sy oorspronklikheid!

Hulle tree op ‘n gereelde basis by verskillende teaters in die Kaap Provinsie op, met onlangse optredes  by die Durbanville Kunskafee, Die Plaas Teater in Brackenfell en die Aan de Braak Teater in Stellenbosch.  En daar word ook beplan om by toekomstige vertonings komediante van Johannesburg te nooi om op te tree as gaskunstenaars!

Berei jouself voor vir ‘n Komediebredie met ons vars-uit-die-oond Afrikaanse Komediante. Hulle gaan gek skeer, gehore laat skater en trane sal loop van die lag!

Vir besprekings en inligting skakel Brent op 072 132 5596 of stuur ‘n epos aan brent@comedyshop.co.za of besoek:
check out on www.facebook.com

A parrot on a perch is sitting in front of a pet store in Mitchell’s Plain.

A woman walks by.

The parrot says to her, “Hey lady.” “Djy’s kak lelik.”

Well, the woman is furious! She storms past the store to her work.

On the way home she sees the same parrot and it says to her again, upsetting her again.

The next day the same parrot again says to her, “Hey lady.” “Djy’s kak lelik.”

The woman furiously went into the store and said that she would sue the store and have the bird killed.

The store manager promised he would see to it that the Parrot would not be so rude again.

When the woman walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her, “Hey lady.”

She paused and said, “Yes?”

The bird said, “Djy weet mos.”

As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POO is inevitable. For those who hate pooing at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.

CROP DUSTING — When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn’t know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.

FLY BY — The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooing. Walk in and check for other pooers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may
become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

ESCAPEE — A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poo in a cubicle. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK — When forcing a poo, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhoea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the cubicle until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH — The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poo hits the water. This reduces the amount of airtime the poo has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME — Walking from the cubicle, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOER — A colleague who poos at work and is proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooer enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooer before entering the bathroom.

THE POOING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N) — A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooing goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet
Pooers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVENS — A seldom-used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite gender. This will reduce the odds of a pooer of your gender
entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR — Someone who does not realise that you are in the cubicle and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poo at work. If this
occurs, remain in the cubicle until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH — A phoney cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a cubicle. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when
used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE — A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a cubicle. This will remove all doubt that the cubicle is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooer can poo in peace.

WATERMELON — A poo that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANAOMELET — A case of diarrhoea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.

UNCLE TED — A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poo when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.

HOW TO DO IT IN SILENCE * When taking a poo neatly wrap toilet paper and pile it in the pan so when you do poo it doesn’t*t make a sound.

Ferril

This article is rated ‘R’ – no persons under the age of 16!

Happy Youth Day to all the youth of South Africa.

This evening, after watching Noelene, I thought to myself… it’s time to speak up once again for the youth! Ek is nou gatvol van die kak!

Now, I used to be a Noelene fan, until more and more of her shows were focused on black people – black not being all other than white. Now my God, what are we doing here mense? Aren’t we supposed to be a united ‘new’ South Africa? What are we trying to show the youth of SA?

I was watching Noelene for 10 minutes this evening, and after the 10th minute I started to feel extreme hatred and anger towards the show.

Almost every black person that was asked the question, “what makes your company different in the market?” or, “why did you start your company?” came back with the response of or close to…

We saw there weren’t any young black women/persons in the market.

We wanted to create an avenue for black people…

NOTHING TO DO ABOUT YOUTH MUTHA FUCKA!

Shouldn’t the response be more to do about ALL the youth of South Africa? What happened to the coloured youth? The Asian youth? The indian youth?

I think more people should be trying to invest in something more for the youth of this country. I’m not going to say more, but I have some plans in the pipeline!

If we all try and give the youth (those that can and can’t afford) opportunities to make themselves great, then we can be proud of where South Africa is headed!

So to all the youth of South Africa, don’t let people get you down! When you’re being ignored, tramped on, hurt, bullied or just plain pushed aside, keep your heads up and keep dreaming. Because without any dreams, there’s nothing to reach for!

Ferril

For those of you who have bought Josh Groban tickets, is there anyone that has received their money back yet?

I went on to the ticketconnection website and there’s fokkol! Just a nice message that says FUCK YOU! Contact the promoter for your money!!

Due to the actions of the Celine Dion and Josh Groban concert promoter, Ticketconnection has been forced to close.
Please watch the media for further details.
For Celine Dion and Josh Groban refunds, please contact the promoter directly Kusasa entertainment: 011 234 6776 or vanessa@kusasasa.co.za

Are they fucking serious?!

Naai… ek is nou fokken rooi van benoudgeid! Ek is nou jas!!!

Can someone answer me this question… why is it that the people we’ve paid the money to (Ticket Connection) has now told us (the public) to ask the promoter (who is somewhere in the world) to ask for the money?

Someone please fucking shed some light?!

Ferril